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First off I'd like to say "Thank you" to the guys at id for making me feel very
welcome. I was expecting to be shown around and get a few minutes to look at what
everyone was doing, but instead they all took the time to explain what they did
and how they did it. In the end I only DeathMatched for 30 minutes, so that was
five and half hours of steady tour and visits with the designers! Everyone went
well out of their way to accommodate me and I greatly appreciate that. Special
thanks to Marty Stratton, Director of Business Development, for spending six hours
showing me the place and Eric Webb for helping me figure out how to play Quake3
Team Arena, cuz man I was totally helpless. Yes, I'm that big a DOOM fan that
my visit had nothing to do with the new Quake game. :-) Anyway, we'll start this
off at the beginning.
November. The Auction.
The second I finished reading about the 'Spend a day at id Software' trip for
auction I knew I was meant to go. Why? For one thing I'd just finished my summer
/ fall stretch of working construction so therefore had: A. lots of time on my
hands and B. more than a little cash to blow on useless stuff like this. It pays
to save your dollars people! You never know when something like this is going
to come up. Another main reason I thought it wasn't just coincidence that the
trip came up was I'd put the finishing touches on my DOOM movie script and had
started trying to get into contact with JFR Productions, the company that is making
the film. I thought "well hell, if that wouldn't be the icing on the most bitchin'
cake ever" so I started figuring out how much I could possibly spend on it. I
placed an initial bid at about half of what I could afford, and got the highest
bid no problem. The last day of the auction suddenly someone is outbidding me.
I up the anty, but it's not enough. I figure what the hell, I'll put my maximum
bid of $1800 american and hope it doesn't go quite that high. As I check periodically
this other guy keeps creeping it up. Then, before I know it it's nearly over.
With 5 minute to go I check and it's jumped another $100 to just over $1600. "Uh-oh,
I'll refresh and see if he's going any higher."
The page won't reload, and I start screaming at my 56k modem.
If the last bid took place with the last 10 minutes the auction is extended, unfortunately
I can't get another look at the page for more like 15. Finally I shut it off and
reconnect. As the page is loading I have to keep reminding myself to breath, and
there is a soft tone as the computer tells me I have mail. I check the mail while
waiting for the page to load.
It's from the auction and says "Congratulations Child_Roland! You've won the auction!"
After running around the house yelling and hooting for about 20 minutes, I finally
settled into a quiet emotionally overloaded joy. Ahhhhhh. I wish I knew who the
bugger was that drove the bloody price so high...
The trip begins.
As my Greyhound bus pulled into the Canadian / American border I looked over my
schedule for the next few days.
- Get on bus for 20 hours, get into Salt Lake City at 7am.
- Get on plane the next day and fly to Dallas Texas at 8pm.
- Leave for tour of id Studios at 10am the next morning.
- Leave id and drive straight to airport at 5pm and fly back to Salt Lake.
I groan. Would have been nice to stretch things out a bit, but hey. Everything
will go fine. Oh, here comes the American Customs guy. From previous trips I know
that when they ask "What is the purpose of your trip?" you say "I'm visiting my
brother." Unfortunately my brain and my excitement betrayed me and I started rambling
on and on about how "I was going to Dallas Texas 'cause I just bought a trip on
an auction an I was gonna meet all the guys and see the new game they're working
on..." So of course:
Big Mean Customs Guy: "Okay, you wanna step into the building there, and bring
your backpack."
Out of everyone on that bus I was the only guy who gets searched and considering
how non-threatening and clean-cut I look, apparently I must be smuggling crack.
So after a long wait he finally calls me over and we start going through my bag.
It gets kind of boring until I pull out the movie script I brought to give to
the guys. He started saying how I was going to sell the script and that wasn't
allowed if I didn't have a work visa, so I tried to explain how id Software isn't
making the movie, JFR is so they aren't even involved in the process. He didn't
believe me and because it wasn't a big deal for me (I figured there was a pretty
good chance the id guys would just toss it anyway) I said "fine I'll just throw
it away right here, where's your garbage can?" Then he starts getting twelve different
kinds of pissed off saying that I can't throw it away here, I have to throw it
away in Canada. I ask him how I'm supposed to do that and he starts ranting about
how he's just gonna send ME back to Canada and I'm lucky he isn't gonna toss me
in jail for trying to smuggle the script across the boarder. So I try to explain
to him how tight my schedule is and I try to ask as nicely as possible exactly
how I can get myself out of this mess and he replies "Well, I guess you'll figure
that out when you get back home."
Just as things looked their bleakest the Canadian Bus driver came over and completely
saved my butt. It was so easy too. He just said "I'll take it back. You can pick
it up at the Greyhound station in Lethbridge" (Alberta, where I live). Angels
sang, the clouds parted, and the suns warm rays shined down upon me! The Customs
guy was speechless and stood looking at the bus driver for a second, his eyes
cold and hard. He didn't even say anything to the driver as he handed him the
script he just glared at me and went on about how I was lucky and that I wouldn't
be this lucky a second time and blah blah blah. Here's a thought, why don't you
try finding some drugs or guns you bloody fascist? Instead I just stuffed my junk
back into my backpack and headed back to the bus as quickly as I could before
he decided I might be hiding another script in a body cavity.
A quick note to any of you who will be spending more than 12 hours on a bus in
the future, BRING A PILLOW. I spent more than 40 hours on the bus going from Southern
Alberta to Thunderbay Ontario and believe me, if you don't have a pillow, may
God have mercy on your soul...
The day before the tour...
First off I have to say that the Salt Lake City airport has the worst security
set up in the known world. It's like it was designed to be as big a pain in the
butt and as slow as is humanly possible. Another travel tip: when going through
metal detectors make sure that before hand you've placed all your metal items
(keys, rings, belts, EVERYTHING) inside a bag so you don't have to spend an hour
going back an forth through the detector. Now that that horror was over, it was
time to fly!
Woo hoo! My first time on an airplane! Airplanes rock! On the flight I was talking
to my brother (who paid for my airfare, thank you very much John!) and said how
comfortable the seats were and how really good the food was. I didn't know what
people were always complaining about, I thought it was great! My brother turns
to me and says "You do realize this is first class, right?" Flying first class
rocks!
The morning of the tour.
At about 8am the morning of the tour I looked out the hotel window at the ominous
gray clouds and the rain falling down and was a little dismayed. I was really
hoping to get a picture of me with one of John Carmacks Ferrari's, but it didn't
look like the kind of day to drive one to work. Oh well.
Ten o'clock rolls around and I'm sitting down in the lobby waiting for my limo
to arrive. Looking at the giant wall clock it appeared as if time was moving at
a tenth it's usual speed. I'd look at the clock, look at doors, look at the clock,
look at the doors....
After what seemed like an eternity the limo arrived and we headed out to id Studios.
At first I was kind of disappointed it wasn't a stretch limo but instead some
kind of fancy Lincoln, but talking to the driver really helped with the nerves.
She was telling me about how nice all the guys were and how fun it was going to
be, that's always a good sign. Better than "They're all right guys you know, as
long as you don't talk to them or look directly at them, and it's almost 10:30
so Marty Stratton will be pretty drunk by now..."
ANYway, on to the tour...
I arrived at id headquarters in Mesquite Texas at about eleven o'clock in the
morning. I have to say after everything I'd heard about id Software's last home
( suite 666 in a big black cube building ) I was expecting something more ominous.
Chalk it up to an overactive imagination. In reality it's a very nice building,
containing a very nice office. You'd never know it was home to the creators of
the most advanced, most terrifying games in P.C. history if it weren't for the
life-size Arch-Vile in the waiting room.
First I met Donna Jackson, the receptionist ( official title "id Mom", which is
a perfect description ) who greeted me with a warm smile and did a lot to settle
my nerves. I get the impression that she is one of those people whom it is impossible
to be unhappy around. Then I was introduced to Marty Stratton, who took me back
to his office where I signed a Nondisclosure Agreement, a document which prohibits
me from talking about any off-limits stuff that I may have seen ( so don't bother
asking, cuz I'd rather not get sued for millions of dollars by guys I really respect.
)First off, of course, is to meet Mr. Mike Anderson, the mayor of Mesquite Texas.
Huh? This I was totally not expecting! Then again the id guys are the biggest
in the business, so on second thought it stands to reason. Mr. Anderson was really
nice, I'd have voted for ya Mike! You know, except that I'm Canadian...
Then we walked back into the waiting room, where the river of free stuff started
flowing. For pictures of the goodies, the link is at the end of the article. I
ended up with so much stuff I didn't have room to bring it all back with me! A
bunch of stuff came later in the mail. I really wasn't expecting that much, they
gave me almost anything I wanted. What did I ask for that they wouldn't give me?
Well, level designer Tim Willits has this monstrously huge monitor... but more
on that later. I'm also kicking myself for not at least asking for one of the
two PlayStation 2's piled in the corner of the meeting room. Would they have really
missed one?
 Of
course the flash kinda buggered the picture, but hey that's life. This is a picture
of Marty Stratton with the Arch-Vile. (That's Marty on the right) :-p At the lower
left that other shiny thing is my gift tin-box edition of Quake 3 Arena. Sweet!
 Here's
the id trophy case, filled with their numerous awards and products. The picture
below shows something I didn't know existed.
 A
shot of the collection of metal Doom figures, in the center is a Commander Keen
wrist watch! Commander Keen was a game they released a long time ago. The next
question is, where can I buy my DOOM watch!? If only we were so lucky...
 And
here I am posing with a plastic toy gun. Don't you recognize it? It's the shotgun
we've all collectively put millions of rounds through. It was digitally scanned
and is the shotgun we've been lugging around since 1993. Kind of neat to see where
these things came from.
By then it was nearing 12:30 so the whole office got together and we went out
to lunch at a nearby restaurant. At this point it dawns on me that I am a long
way from home, the rural town of Raymond, population 3,000. I stare blankly at
the menu for some time before Marty asks if I know what I want. I answered as
honestly as I could: "I don't even know what I'm looking at. By gator meat do
they mean real alligator?" ( I am so far from home! ) Thankfully the other guys
saved me by recommending a chicken sandwich of some sort, though now I'm kind
of kicking myself for not trying the gator burger whatever-it-was. On second thoughts
I'd have been too nervous to eat it. I wonder if any of the guys saw my hands
shaking as I ate?
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